I got rejected from a job I really wanted this week. AND I finally managed to email my mentor, who let me know about two new opportunities. I’m so glad I’ve been working on my website for the last two weeks. She’s not perfect, but she’s HERE. That counts for something. I have a lot of action plans swirling around in my head and I feel like I can actually complete them now; wild how finally having the right medication works.
I’m better at asking for help now too. Mostly. Like it’s still hard, but I do it. I only avoid things for hours instead of days now. It’s rainy here today. Finally!! I’ve missed things being cold and overcast. There’s something magical about the rain and the night air. It’s like they wash tension away. Yesterday I spent 5 hours searching my code for an error bc my site wasn’t building, and after breathing in the rain for a bit I came back inside and found it…in a really weird way I don’t feel like explaining. So my site is DONE! And I can apply to more jobs and mentorships and whatever I want to now. (If you see any art jobs pls forward them to me…pls.)
I’m on the path to becoming a librarian, too. Well, I’m in front of the path. It will likely be a while before I am ready to step onto it, given that it took a whole year for me to recover from undergrad. But it feels right. The only thing I love more than books is art, and ART GOES INTO BOOKS. It’s brilliant lol. I want to make books and help people find books and be around books all day. Not to mention libraries have rules about noise (my sworn enemy), and there are just so many of them. Knowing how to find information is vital to education- especially seeing how the internet has affected people’s discernment so much. We’ve always believed what we want to…there’s just so much more fake shit so much more easily found now.
Alas, I must work on short essays for applications before the 11.11 energy dissipates. I’m sending you all luck right now too!!
….infinite love + peace … Tulani Kiara
Jane Eyre (the novel not one of the many adaptations) – I LOVE HER. She’s an artist, who is plain and resourceful and not scared of cranky Mr. Rochester. Gotta admit I kinda hate that man, for his personality too, but mostly because I know what’s coming. Anyway, Helen is a sweet angel and I see her as having ADHD bc of how she describes paying attention in class. In HS, I read every book in Lit class and got through them by making it gay (tho The Great Gatsby really is gay). So obviously, Jane and Helen were in love.
A Sugar & Spice Holiday (2020) – Just found this Hallmark romance movie on youtube. THE MAIN CHARACTER IS CHINESE!!!!!!! And SHE HAS A FRENCH CHINESE LOVE INTEREST!!! Every day it seems, I pray for a romance movie where they are both POC. I’m glad the universe is listening. First Wedding Season (2022) on Netflix and now this. Granted I am only 13 mins into this movie, so it might end up being awful. As of now, I recommend.
Year of the Tiger by Alice Wong – We love an unconventional memoir! I just started this, but it stands out to me how conventions kept me from doing things my own way, how ableism keeps people from imagining new processes for living and creating. Let’s do things in the easiest ways for us, this is our only life, after all. I went to Sami Schalk and Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha and Sandy Ho’s Tiger Talk for this book on Zoom, and learned so much about disability politics. Gonna go read both their books now.